I ask Ruben if he is happy. He replies that he is the best person he has ever been. It is an admirable goal: be not the best person possible, but the best yet. Of course good, better, best prompt quantification, but I can keep my own score. I am …
I now have red hair that I dyed semi-permanently that supposedly fades after 6-8 washes. Last week I had green hair. I switched color palettes for the red I wore at Saturday night’s Fallen Cosmos event. Furthermore, Valentine’s Day approaches. I’m forty-two and dying my hair unnatural colors like a …
Sunday afternoon, I drive bleary but happy the ninety minutes from San Francisco to Sacramento. I’ll stay a couple days with Ruben before he hosts more guests and brings in a new roommate. For years, Ruben has taught American history at Sacramento State and Sacramento City College. I always wanted …
It is Groundhog Day, an auspicious and troubling day for me. Traditionally, the groundhog on this day emerges from his or her burrow to look at sun. Shadow, or lack thereof, dictates the commencement of flourishing spring or six more weeks of the same cold winter. Like a groundhog, I …
Wow. Mid-November 2014, San Francisco impresario Chicken John quietly introduces an upcoming event. Although he announces the event date of January 31, ticket price of $50, and event name of “Fallen Cosmos,” he says no more of what to expect. Furthermore, the fifty-dollar donation permits you to give a ticket …
Spring comes. The magnolia and dogwood bloom white and pink. I am filled with abundance. I find money on the streets. While running through Golden Gate Park, I spot a dollar bill on the sidewalk. I stuff it in my spandex shorts like a smug, well-compensated go-go dancer. While walking …
I hunt in a local bookstore for a book called Connections that just might explain why I need so much from connections to others. I cannot find the book Connections, but I do buy instead “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–And Keep–Love.” …
I take down an empty box from the top shelf of my closet to fill it with memories, hope, circling monologues, sadness, and remorse. I keep with me the anger and frustration as those remaining sharp edges still have use. I wrap up the filled box and bury it behind …
Last night, everything shifted. My sorrow ebbed and I filled with amazing: Gratitude! I’m so grateful for Greg’s presence in my life. I’m grateful to have met him. I am grateful for the courage to date him. He got me to come out to my friends and family (although not …
While snow hits New England, spring blooms in San Francisco. I run through the park, take the turn at Ocean Beach, and wave to the three lucky buffalo who signify a good week ahead. The dogwood is out along with strange tropical plants. Whether I like it or not, the …