Day 199– October 25, 2014

As I wind down from my travels and projects, I feel pulled in many directions. My future looks murky, unusual for an inveterate (invertebrate!) planner like myself.

Perhaps I should look for a biotech job. I could resume bench science, synthesize small molecules or monomers, and manage a couple people. I could build on my DNA-sequencing experience to move into alternative fuels, antibody conjugates, or bioassays.

Perhaps I should follow this creative coding class with a more legitimate coding bootcamp. I could pay about ten thousand dollars to study computers for another three months. Bootcamps promise job placement in an entry-level coding job upon graduation. I could design websites or widgets. I got surprisingly excited diagramming this career change to Jay.

Perhaps I should sit out another six months. I have curtailed my expenses and still retain a bankroll. Sure, I would dig further into my finite savings, but I could live well now instead of my usual habit of putting off rewards until almost never. I could really laze – no giant projects, classes, or driving. I might finally “find myself” in the back of my couch.

Perhaps I should chase the dollars and take the highest-possible paying job. Friend John mentions another raise at work. He earns almost twice what I did. I applaud his hard work, success, and generosity, but the reflection nags me into wanting more money, solely as a signifier of worth.

I resume the present and forego thought of the future. I have four hours of afternoon class, a large triangle to finish, a seahorse to wear, and friends to collect. Is this enough?