It is Monday. I struggle to get out of bed. I struggle for food, struggle for clarity, struggle for self-worth. The house grows colder on.
I’m tired. I’m tired of writing a pithy essay every morning. I’m tired of learning and building and planning. I’m tired of justifying my hours and my dollars.
A regular job bestowed credibility and salary. Even on the bad days when I merely punched the clock (and wanted to punch much more), at least I had a place, purpose, and paycheck. I don’t miss the job, but I do miss the times when I could shift my psyche into low gear for a week on auto-pilot.
Monday morning, I do laundry. I buy more groceries. I’m always cooking – the food shopping never ends but the food always runs out. I will retreat under the bed covers to learn jQuery programming. I’m tired, but I keep moving.