Am I happy? I don’t know. Sometimes I am overwhelmed, frantic, and stuffed by all the learning, projects, and uncertainly. Other times – often while building – I glide along a flow state. In between, I oscillate between the rails of overstimulated and bored.
I experience happiness rarely in the moment but often in retrospect. I am frantic now, but later may perceive this time as happy.
I’m quite aware that this year, my annus mirabilis, will be one of my happiest years. I’m doing so much, I’m learning so much, and I’m so uncertain of what is next. I feel twenty again but this time with wisdom. If only I could be happy now.